I was talking to a friend at work the other day about what life looks like right now. About how life just feels so “bleh” and still. I mentioned that sometimes I forget I have free will. Which “free will” in and of itself is a topic I could have a deep theological discussion about for hours on end, but in this particular instance I use the phrase a little more loosely. What I’m saying is, sometimes I forget that I don’t have to stay at home all day. I am allowed to go out and get coffee with a friend. I’m allowed to plan trips and vacations. I don’t just have to work and come home and repeat. I’m allowed to live.
I think often times I get so stuck in the mindset of just living to work and then coming home to work some more on house chores. I get caught up so easily in the things that need to get done. I get stuck in the endless lists I make in my head of things I need to clean or improve or organize. And trust me…. the list truly is never-ending.
Do you want to hear a secret? It’s kinda goofy and dorky so don’t judge me here. When I’m home and I know there’s a lot to get done, I often will record my day in a series of videos that I will intend to edit and put together to post. For some reason it’s motivation to me. As if someone is watching and holding me accountable behind my camera lens. Whats even better though is I never actually edit the videos and post them. I’d say 95% of the time it just sits – taking up space in my camera roll. I’m not a huge social media person anymore and most definitely not an influencer. I don’t have the patience to pursue something like that. Not to mention I like keeping some things private and there isn’t much privacy involved in being that big on the internet. Anyway, as silly as it is, recording my day allows me to not just be motivated, but to romanticize it in a way. A way that I normally would not. Adding music and imagining it to be just as easily as a minute long video would imply for it to be.
Today was different though. I’ve worked more hours than usual this week. My body is all out of wack and I’ve been having a hard time sleeping at night. Not to mention my favorite: hormones *insert any sarcastic emoji here*. I woke up and knew I had the day off and a lot to get done. Instantly I started organizing my list in my head. It looked something like this:
- Pick up groceries
- wash baby bottles
- make Ev breakfast and feed her
- clean kitchen
- do dishes
- wash, fold and put away my laundry
- wash bedding
- make bed
- wash, fold and put away Ev’s laundry
- restock Ev’s room
- work out
- organize kitchen drawers
- organize games & puzzles
- pick up living room
- sweep/mop
- wash rugs
- buy diapers and wipes
I’ll be honest. It’s a little much and I didn’t get everything done, but I did do most of it. Plus a little more…
I did things today that could have easily been deemed as “throwing a wrench in my plans” – at least in the beginning. I tried to put my 8 month old down for a nap. She refused so we compromised and she fell asleep cuddling me on the couch instead. That took up about 2 hours of my day that I had planned to get things done. But honestly, we both needed those cuddles. When she woke up, I switched the laundry and we put her clothes away in her room and made her bed. She “helped” by destroying the piles of clothes I had just folded. While I organized the games and puzzles, she had a giggle fit and we laughed back and forth at each other. Later I put her down for another nap and took the time to shower and wash my hair which desperately needed it. I had been feeling gross and just needed a reset for my body. It was great. I felt cleaner and more put together. Later we ran to the store to pick up our grocery order and when we got back home, I couldn’t shake the feeling that we just needed to be outside – something that I regularly avoid during Arizona summers. So I unpacked the car – put Ev in her stroller and we walked to the park while I listened to a Christian podcast about parenting. When we got there I turned it off and we laid on a blanket in the grass playing and looking at all the beauty around us. Something we BOTH would have missed out on if I hadn’t listened to that little voice in my head telling me to just do it. On our walk home we talked about everything we saw (well I did – while she listened). I pointed out the birds and the trees, the clouds and the mountains and sunset. I named all the colors of the flowers on the bushes in front of the houses. I told her “Thank you baby for spending time with mommy today. You’re my bestest little friend.” When we came home, I made her a bottle then got back to completing my list – finishing laundry while she “helped” me make the bed. We played for a little longer and organized the kitchen junk drawers before daddy got home. Then we did bath time, got in our pjs and played with daddy for a bit. Shortly after we prayed and I put her down for bed. All things and moments that I could have easily missed out on.
I think it’s important to sometimes literally stop and smell the roses (or in Everleigh’s case stop and eat the grass lol). Look at the sky and thank its Creator. Spend time with someone you love. Take detours on chores and involve your littles by recruiting them to help. Reality is sometimes we get so stuck in what needs done and routines that we look back and months – heck even years have flown by and we can’t recall the small moments, because there weren’t any to remember. Something I am personally working to overcome is getting stuck in the mundane tasks of life. Losing myself in the never- ending lists. I want to be intentional in everything I do – not just completing tasks. I want to strive to be a mom who spends intentional time with my daughter without the distractions of phones or lists.
As always its a matter of progression not perfection – I’ll leave you with these reminders:
Colossians 3:17 – “And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus giving thanks through him to God the Father.”
Psalms 145:5 – “I will meditate on your majestic, glorious splendor and your wonderful miracles.”
Psalms 55:22 – “Give your burdens to the Lord, and He will take care of you. He will not permit the Godly to slip and fall.”
The Grace-filled Home 